A Letter to Washington Post Columnist Christine Emba About “Condom Stealthing”
Dear Ms. Emba,
I respectfully ask that you take the time to read this letter in its entirety and to thoughtfully consider what I say here.
As a lifelong reader of the Washington Post, I’ve long noticed that the Post has a clear bias in favor of women. This bias is self-evident: the Post has a gender columnist who only champions the female perspective and in 2018 it published a hateful, repulsive article, Why Can’t We Hate Men? Unbelievably, despite a huge negative response from thousands of posted comments, the article was still included as one of The Post’s favorite op-eds of 2018 later in the year!
I’m sorry to say that your recent Opinion piece in the Post, California calls condom ‘stealthing’ what it is: A violation, is an additional example of this bias.
I’m writing to you and to other Post columnists to get them to recognize and to correct this gender bias.
Please don’t misunderstand. I’m in full agreement that your article’s nominal topic, “condom stealthing” — the removal of a condom by a man without consent during sex — is an offensive, selfish, immoral act. (It’s also an unbelievably stupid act by any man who chooses to risk 18 years of child support payments.)
With that said, your article — like thousands of similar articles — is gender biased in two ways.
First, the article amplifies and exaggerates the problem by expanding on the nominal topic to a much broader context. This expansion begins with the article’s first two sentences (“I’m not sure it was rape, but … Too many stories of sexual violence begin with this sad sort of equivocation”) and continues throughout.
Equating condom stealthing with rape and sexual violence is clearly an exaggeration. While the act is certainly immoral, it’s not rape — it happens during intercourse — and it is certainly not “sexual violence”. How, exactly, is the removal of a condom violent? Although feminists have managed to expand the definition of “violence” to include virtually any misdeed by males, I believe reasonable people would agree that its usage here is yet another case of “feminists crying wolf”.
The article then continues to magnify the actual misdeed by using words and ideas that trigger emotional responses, particularly by female readers:
· “This makes it harder for survivors”: Women — and men¹ — who have faced appalling levels of partner violence and have escaped are survivors. Women whose lovers surreptitiously remove a condom may be victims, but calling them survivors is clearly feminist hyperbole that only cheapens and dilutes the word’s meaning and significance
· “…objectification and lack of respect”: This derived reference to the old feminist trope of “women as sex objects” should by now be seen for the self-absorbed, hypocritical lie that it is… one need only view a few of the porn web sites where “…ordinary women are uploading their own explicit acts for the world to see.” ² How can we not see that this is women themselves delivering their bodies to millions as sex objects — and profiting from it?
· “… where sexual encounters follow the contours of a still misogynistic society”: Another feminist-inspired trope that unmistakably reveals your underlying gender bias. If anything, after 50-plus years of feminist cultural indoctrination, we live in a misandrist society (misandry is the hatred of men). If you doubt it, just read the aforementioned article published by the Post, Why Can’t We Hate Men? Can you imagine any media outlet posting an article titled “Why Can’t We Hate Women”? OF COURSE NOT!
Second, the article is like thousands of similar articles that focus on sexual misbehavior by men, with absolutely no mention of “mirror image” sexual misbehavior by women. While I understand yours is only a single article that at least superficially reports on California’s new law, the real problem is that the Post and other media outlets only rarely report on comparable acts committed by women.³
For example, following are just a few of these uniquely female acts, every bit as “offensive, selfish, immoral” as condom removal:
· Paternity fraud: “Paternity fraud, also known as misattributed paternity or paternal discrepancy, is when a man is incorrectly identified to be the biological father of a child. The underlying assumption of paternity fraud is that the mother deliberately misidentified the biological father.” ⁴
· “Sperm jacking”: It’s bad enough for a woman to accuse a man falsely and knowingly to be the father of her child, but even worse is “sperm jacking” or “spurgling”, the collection of a man’s sperm, committed by women who want to have a child with a man without his permission.
In other words, it’s women stealing men’s sperm!
If you think women might feel guilty about this “most intimate theft”, think again. One woman, a Reddit poster named feminista8 actually brags about it, and instructs other would-be-spurglers how to do it!
· Posthumous sperm retrieval (PSR): This is a procedure in which sperm is collected from the testes of a dead man. “If you can’t steal his sperm while he’s alive, why not wait until he’s dead?”
Although there are some cases where dead men clearly consented to have their sperm used for reproduction after their death, much more often a “convincing evidence” standard is used where the man may have intended to have children with a woman. Unfortunately, this convincing evidence standard is so low as to be laughable: all that is needed is for a woman to state that the dead man at sometime may have said that he “someday wanted to have children”.
And of course, the man can’t deny the woman’s claim. He’s dead! It’s a perfect crime.
If you don’t see anything wrong with this, imagine the reverse, where a husband or boyfriend demands his partner’s eggs be extracted from her body after she dies, so that he can become a father. Not so nice, is it?
You see, Ms. Emba, although rarely mentioned in the Washington Post or other mainstream media, women are just as guilty as men of sexual misbehavior. Women can be sexual predators (including teachers who rape students and mothers who molest their own sons); make false rape and abuse allegations⁵; use their sexuality to entrap rich men (remember Anna Nicole Smith, who at 26 married an 89-year-old billionaire?); and willingly participate in both pornography and prostitution.
Oh yes…. They also cause at least 50% of domestic violence. For proof, read the report mentioned in footnote 1.
Don’t believe that women can be sexual predators? Then read my article about the hypocrisy of the #MeToo movement.
Prepare to be shocked.
I do, however, completely agree with your closing, “But in terms of repairing our broken sexual culture? We still have a long way to go.”
Just not in the way that you mean it.
Yes, we do have a “broken sexual culture”, but it’s the exact opposite of the one you envision. This broken culture is the result of the 50-year, relentless, man-hating, feminist indoctrination that falsely presents women as always-innocent victims and men as women-hating monsters, which inspires people to write biased, distorted articles such as yours, and which has convinced millions of citizens to believe a warped, provably wrong perception about a “misogynistic culture”.
Again, if you doubt this, please read a book by English author Herbert Purdy, Their Angry Creed: The shocking history of feminism, and how it is destroying our way of life. It methodically describes the dark, seamy underbelly of feminism that the world’s media has kept hidden for more than 50 years.
Ms. Emba, I respectfully ask that you help to set the record straight. You could start with a column that admits the truth about women’s dark side or one that accurately describes how the sexual culture has been broken … by feminists and the thousands of commenters like yourself who have allowed themselves to be duped into supporting this feminist-directed breakdown.
Do you have the courage to write such a column? Do you have the courage to tell the truth?
Closing note: Ms. Emba never replied to my letter to her or wrote the suggested column.
For other letters to Post columnists see my Letters to The Washington Post list:
FOOTNOTES:
1. Men are at least 50% of domestic violence victims. For proof, read this law review report, Disabusing the Definition of Domestic Violence: How Women Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State
2. The full observation about these women is made in the book Their Angry Creed: The shocking history of feminism, and how it is destroying our way of life: “…it is stating the obvious that liberated women are the primary players in the pornography that excites men. These are liberated women exercising their freedom from hitherto guiding social mores; they are hardly unwilling victims. Pornography is everywhere. From the organised [English spelling] industry it is in California, to the plethora of amateur web sites where ordinary women are uploading their own explicit acts for the world to see. Yet this is all, somehow, men’s fault? The sheer hypocrisy of feminists, let alone their totally disjointed thinking, is astonishing.”
3. I did a search of Washington Post articles back to 1987 on this site using search terms (and variations of) “spurgle”, “sperm jacking”, etc.), and found no matching articles
4. Wikipedia entry on paternity fraud
5. Some examples of false rape claims include Rolling Stone’s 2014 A Rape on Campus, a completely fabricated and ultimately debunked false rape accusation about a purported gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity; the 2006 Duke Lacrosse Rape Hoax, where members of the lacrosse team were falsely accused of rape, and then there’s one of the greatest false accusations of all time, the 1955 Mississippi murder of Emmett Till, the 14-year-old African American boy from Chicago, and the confession, years later, by Carolyn Bryant Donham, the white woman who accused Emmett of assaulting her, that she had lied.
By Stephen Bond on October 13, 2022.
Exported from Medium on February 28, 2023.